debriefing the heart

I wasn't the sort of teenage girl to draw hearts on my pencil case. I've had a fair unease about that shape for most of my life. Mostly because it seems like a rubber-stamped cliche of love - far from what love really means to me. Love doesn't look the same for everyone, so how can we all use the same symbol to represent it?

But I decided to tackle my reluctance head-on, and join in with this years ValenTangle fortnight. I'll share my results in a moment - but first a tile for this weeks appropriately hearty Diva Challenge. I actually started this tile for Day 11 of ValenTangle - but it drifted some way from the prompt, and then it went a bit wrong, and then I tried to correct it by throwing a colour wash over it, and then some TranZending. And then I thought it looked a mess so I put it to one side and made a new tile for Day 11. But I've resurrected it today, tinkered and shaded and I'm willing to call it done.

This started as a band of Marguerite Samama's Love Fragment -
which has been featured throughout ValenTangle

And so to my experience of ValenTangle. I reflected often as I worked on each daily prompt, and I've come to a number of conclusions. Firstly that I love working regularly and intensely on a theme - I feel proud of the body of work that has resulted. Once I decided my limited colours and materials (I stuck with a cool blue as my only colour to keep in mind with my Winter Inklings project) I could let go of planning and expectation. I could immerse myself in Marguerite's profoundly inspiring prompts - each satisfying enough to get your teeth into, but with plenty of opportunity to flavour as you see fit. But at the same time I felt the downsides of working this way. I rarely join in anything with a regular commitment, and whilst I could have dipped in and out, once I'd made my commitment I stuck to it. Much like love, I'm faithful once I decide to take part. And there were times when I found the need to produce a tile every day a little draining, and there were times I craved creation unrelated to hearts. But darkness makes us appreciate light, lack of love makes us appreciate its presence. I'm now relishing the thought of being utterly directionless in my tangling - who knows where I'll go next.

A whole lotta love

I've shared these tiles in the ValenTangle Facebook group - but repeat them here as I know some of my readers don't do Facebook, and also it's nice to see them all grouped together.

Day 1 - exploring the Love Fragment.

Day 2 - Hearty Ratoon

Day 3 - a little tangling, a lot of space

Day 4 - make a 3Z mosaic

Day 5 - tangle an object

Day 6 - hearty Wholly Hollibaugh

Day 7 - the Love fragment in a hexagon

Day 8 - tangle the initials of your loved one/s

Day 9 - hearty Star-Ing

Day 10 - tangle your corners

Day 11 - tangled borders

Day 12 - hearty Yuma

Day 13 - Bijou in a grid tangle

Day 14 - tangle a puffy heart pillow

Over the course of 14 days I came to realise that the heart shape is just a shape, no more no less than any other – it has points, recesses and curves. It can behave in all manner of different ways and if you tangle it enough times all meaning, both good and bad, begins to recede. I don't think I'll be drawing hearts on my pencil case any day soon, but I definitely don't feel quite as allergic as I did, and I can imagine that by this time next year I might get the urge to join in with the next ValenTangle.

a pleasing shade of discomfort

Sometimes the wisdoms that I learn from my Zentangle practice mirror those I hold true and close in the rest of my life. But sometimes they lead me in entirely different directions. In my day-to-day life I am not a risk taker - it doesn't suit me. I know my comfort zone - I nurture it, protect it from threat and cherish time spent there. But on the blank page in writing, or on a tile that's a place I'm willing to take the odd risk. There I'll chance trying something a little out of the comfortable. Because what's to lose really - only a little time and ink?

Ratoon - in black and blue - with aura, orbs and something like Fescu

So this week I'm taking some risks. The Diva invites us to play with new ZTHQ tangle Ratoon. It's been circulating for a while but the official stepout was only just released. Every time I've seen it I've loved it, and every time I thought about trying to tangle it I've talked myself out of it. These kind of knotted tangles often prove tricky for me. But I did it - not even practising in my sketchbook first! Just straight to the beautiful Fabriano paper. And while there are a few wobbles and a couple of moments where I thought I was losing control, I'm pleased with my first attempt, and even more that I've broken my fear of Ratoon.

If you're similarly wary I'd offer a few tips. Firstly allow plenty of space, at least when you're starting out, and make sure that the outer 'seeds' are placed a good distance from your inner ones. Slow down, breathe often, and turn the tile to whatever way feels most comfortable as you draw each line - I learned this the hard way when for much of the tile I couldn't see where I was aiming for with my lines!

Blue Molygon - with added hearts!

I'm also warming up in preparation for joining in with my first ever ValenTangle. Some of you may know that I have an aversion to drawing hearts - but this year seems the prime time to overcome that. It's just another shape after all! ValenTangle, now in its fourth year, is a two-week opportunity to tangle on the theme of hearts and love in all its guises. It's the brainchild of Dutch tangler extraordinaire Marguerite Samama. Yet again she's written a PDF filled with illustrated prompts sure to tickle your tangling tastebuds - and I was honoured to be invited to write a prompt for one of the days! There is no obligation to join in everyday, or to stick with any particular colour scheme (I'll be working in muted blues to tie in with my Winter Inklings project1). ValenTangle begins on February 1st, and continues through to the 14th. Come and join the dedicated Facebook group where people will be sharing their art, you can also find the prompt book there. If you're not a Facebook user but would like to join in drop me an email (theraggedray@gmail.com) and I'll send a PDF back to you!

ValenTangle 2019 on Facebook

 

listening to echoes

Mostly when I tangle I don't think – my mind pleasantly disconnected from anything other than the flow of ink across paper. But if I do think I think about the tangling, and sometimes I think about what I might say in my next blog post.

This week I thought about repetition. About how I find myself often saying the same things to different people within the tangle community. I don't think this repetition is a bad thing. I often rediscover and repeat the same things to myself on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. This is how they sink in, this is how we learn.

This week I shared the thought that taking part in tangle challenges should never feel like a chore, merely an invitation to inspiration, that we should always feel able to decline without a shadow of guilt. This isn't the first time I've said this, and it won't be the last.

I didn't feel inspired to respond to the invitations that the Diva put out in the first couple of weeks of the year. But this week I did. The opportunity to fill stripes was too good to resist.

Keeko and a Beadlines variation -
ragged in places like a beloved old cardigan

But then a funny thing happened, all of a sudden I felt like doing a tile for the previous week's challenge as well. I explored a new medium by trying out a form of reverse TranZending which I've been watching Anica develop and explore over the last few months.

A rare photo of the works in progress

I used a Posca white pen to lay down a base layer of Baton. The benefit of the Posca pen seems to be that it dries to a permanent finish – which means it doesn't clog your micron when you go over it many times, and it doesn't re-moisten and start to move about. I drew my tile on a Strathmore grey tile - newly recommended to me by tangle friend Jules after I'd admired one of her 'hairy' grey tiles. These come measuring 4x4 but I cut this one down to our more familiar 3.5 x 3.5.  I often tangle on grey toned pastel paper, but these tiles have a smoother surface which seemed better suited to this technique.

Bunzo, Mooka and Tipple - I love how shiny and dark this looks -
like seeing an underwater world trapped beneath ice

Guess what happened then! I fancied doing yet another Diva tile, one for the first challenge of the year. I don't have a spinner machine so I laid down some concentric circles using two shades of grey watercolour brush pen. When I blended these with a water brush a subtle purple started to appear - sometimes an unwelcome side-effect, on this occasion a welcome hint of colour.  Not that I'm missing colour, despite being firmly locked into the blacks and greys of my Winter Inklings project.

CC and a bit of Mintea - and lots of graphite -
ornate cloud banks on a misty day

I politely declined to join the party for the first two weeks of the Diva challenge year, but this week I had a ball doing all three. I feel sure that I wouldn't have created these tiles if I had forced myself last week or the week before. These tiles could only appear when they were ready, when I was ready - I just need to remember over and over again to listen to my instinct.

something frosted this way comes

Strolling back through my blog archives shows significant differences in my tangling practice through the years.  In my second year of tangling, 2014, I blogged 66 times in a year - that's more than once a week!  In my two quietest years I posted only 19 times in each.  This year looks set to be somewhere in the middle.  But when I look more closely at the posts I realise they have changed a lot.  Back then I often posted a single tile, with just a paragraph of text to accompany it.  Now I tend to write longer posts, I give greater thought to what I'm trying to say through this blog, and I include multiple images.  And that's just the blogging.

Old news - three tiles from the archives - Diva Challenge responses from 2014

My tiles have changed too.  They are far more complex these days, even the minimal ones, and they take much longer to tangle.  Which is not to say they are necessarily better, nor is blogging less inherently worse.  It's just different.  This is where I am right now, in my tangling and my blogging.  But comparisons are interesting and useful as we can see where we were, how far we've come, and know that even when we feel like we are stuck in one place, we're actually always moving.

Finding our own way on and through sometimes involves finding new ways to work with old tangles.  Sometimes to be inventive, sometimes just to get on better with a tangle we struggle with.  Laura notes this in her Diva Challenge posting for this week - she says she feels better about Pokeroot when she draws it larger.  I used to feel the same way, and then I preferred it with lots of rounding, but lately I've liked drawing a stripped back version, with lots of tiny Pokeroots along simple black-line branches.  Which is what I did this week, weaving in and around a slender shiny Fengle, with more Pokeroot in the border.

Winter approaches - first frost on Pokeroot

One more tile to share today - I started this last Friday afternoon, and finishes shading it today.  I tangled as the light steadily left the room, the day and the working week.  Minute after minute it became harder and harder to see what I was tangling.  My tangles pulled closer and closer to each other, leaving just that space of brightness in the middle.  I need to accept that it gets dark early.  I need to move my tangle time to earlier in the day.  I need to embrace the way the year changes everything, the trees, the light, my tangling and me. 

My kind of twilight - a tight cluster of lots of different tangles

four quarters of an overcast Thursday

I've always found wisdom in unexpected places.  Fiction guides me more than faith, poetry soothes more than prayer.  And when I'm tangling and truly absorbed in the process so many little lessons slip out from between those seemingly meaningless lines of black ink.  I don't need to hang on every word of the gospel according to Rick and Maria, as eloquent and entertaining as they often are.  I just need to embrace this thing they created and within it I might find whatever I need at that moment.

Tangles used - Flux, Ynix, Opus and Mooka

I haven't tangled much of late.  I'm stuck in one of the gristly bits of life, and it's taking most of my time and energy and focus to chew my way through.  I'll get there, but not just yet.  My tangle-hand feels rusty, my lines are a little more wobbly than usual.  I'm a bit jittery, distracted.  But a window of time opened today and I wanted to make the most of it.  Rather than getting lost in the choice of which project to resume I reached for this week's Diva Challenge - where she invites us to make a mosaic from 4 tiles.  I knew I wouldn't have time to make 4 full sized tiles, so I reach for Bijous.  I then (somewhat stupidly) decided it would be easier to cut my tiles and switch parts, rather than drawing strings.  The resulting pieces didn't fit together that well, the sections didn't line up smoothly and I didn't feel that hopeful.   I almost abandoned it altogether.

I added a black border at the scanning / adjustment stage
to hide the ragged edges, I may be the Ragged Ray but there are limits!

But then I started tangling... adding just 4 original tangles, some perfs, ink, graphite and white pencil.  The imperfections slowly started to fade (they're still there, but only if you choose to notice them).  Each tile has its own personality, its tangle, its quirks.  Each little tile looks good on its own, but stands stronger as part of the whole.  With patience, effort and compromise something apparently hopeless stands a chance.  All of which is true for life, as it is for my tiles.  Wisdom enough for one week I think!

autumnal interweavings

My last post was word heavy, and I really appreciate all of you who took the time to wade through my extended musings as I led my Zigzangles out into the daylight for the first time.

This time I'll be brief and share a few tiles I've drawn in the last week.  Firstly this tan tile that inadvertently combined the two most recent Diva Challenges.

Diva #371 & #372 - Onion Drops & Dewd

Then a tile I didn't finish in time for Adele Bruno's challenge for last week.  The first time I tried to read Orwell's 1984 I couldn't connect with it.  I tried it again a handful of years later and it all made sense.  Sometimes it's just a case of the right book at the wrong time.  It's not a situation limited to books either - and I think Adele's Iza tangle has the 1984 effect on me.  I first played with it years ago - and liked how it looked, but this time I really connected, I felt the tangle as I drew it.  And I think that shows in the finished tile. 

IAST #264 - Iza and Heartswell - ink and graphite
on vintage printmaking paper that's as old as me!

And lastly a few Bijou.  I'm still keeping my pledge to make a Bijou for every It's a String Thing challenge I fail to make a full size tile for.  I noticed I'd missed one right at the start of the year, so that's why the first one uses an 18 as its string - we'll be doing a 19 before we know it!

IAST #224 / #259 / #262 - Bijou pastel paper tiles - ink, graphite, white pencil and pen

a little of what you fancy

I don't think I have too many art supplies.  If gathered together in one place they would fit in two drawers of my old bureau.  I've seen people with far more, and equally people who create magic with a ballpoint pen on scrap paper.  I resist the urge to buy every new pen that catches my eye.  I read copious reviews before trialing a new paper.  And often I come back to my old favourites again and again.  But sometimes I think perhaps I have more than enough - in the literal sense of the phrase.  I have more than I can hold in mind.  More than I can choose from.  Things get forgotten, which of course also allows for the thrill of rediscovery.  

And so it was this week.  The Diva challenged us to tangle with straight lines only.  I knew I wanted to draw bands of Shard, a tangle I rarely use despite it being a close cousin to Baton which is one of my favourites.  I almost grabbed a square tile, then I remembered my 3Zs!  A little box of precious triangles I treated myself to earlier this year!

Diva #368 - Shard / 3Z tile / pigment ink / graphite

I recently took myself a week long holiday at home.  Time spent with loved ones, away from normal activities, chores, hours spent on this computer.  We talked, we read, we ate cakes, we laughed, loved, listened to starlings singing from the fir tree, we slept late and long, and walked out on a grey day to a beautiful little churchyard.  And of course I wanted to tangle, but didn't want to be rooting through options.  So before I 'left' I packed up a little set.  3 tiles cut down from Zentangle Apprentice tiles, to something postcard shaped (roughly measuring 11 x 8 cm).  My trusty black Uni Pin 01, a turquoise Copic SP I very rarely reach for, a Zig Clean Color Brush in Haze blue and a pencil and stump.  And these are the tiles that came from that. 

Bran and Printemps / Shattuck, Bunzo, Clob, Beadlines, Printemps / Huggins, Antidots, Clob

To summarise - I like having choices, but not too many.  I like limitations too, but only if I know I can break free!

searching for neverland

Earlier this year The Diva did a wise thing. She recognised that she needed to take a break from creating and sharing her weekly challenges with us. And she not only recognised that need but she claimed it too. And she asked us to support her in this, as I'm sure we all have, much as we've missed her. She was also incredibly brave in telling us why she needed that break. Just because she's back we should assume she might never need to take a break again. Her return is a valuable reminder for us to listen to ourselves, listen for the sometimes quiet voice of our needs.  To ask and claim and sometimes demand what we require.

Sometimes the momentum of life keeps us moving on without giving us the chance to stop and take stock of where we are, where we come from and where we might be going.  Zentangle, and particularly this week's Back to Basics challenge, gives one way to take stock thanks to these little black and white snapshots.

Then

Just over five years ago, on the 18th June 2013, I drew my first ever Zentangle tile.  A square of postcard paper, a black fibre tip, a Woolworths pencil.  Since then I've learnt so much.  A wide array of different tangles and techniques.  My pen control has improved enormously. I've learnt to use highlights and shade safely even near thick black ink on those super soft tiles!  I've learnt the value and pleasure offered by superior materials.

I often share my very first tile with new tanglers, or people who are doubting their ability.  With regular mindful practice it's almost impossible not to improve, and having fun while doing so!

Now

Today I drew a tile - on beautiful Italian paper, with a juicy Pigma Micron pen, and my trusty old Woolworths HB pencil.  I started with four dots, a border, a string based on my initials and chop.  I used the same three tangles from that June day - Crescent Moon, Static and Tipple.  And it couldn't look more different.

And while I'm thrilled  and grateful at all the progress I've made there's a little bit of me that misses  the naivety of where I started from.  That giddy combination of not knowing what you're doing but loving it all the same.  The innocence of just putting marks on paper without a bulk of knowledge and ideas all trying to suggest themselves loudly in your ear.  But I'm not Peter Pan, I had to grow up, but maybe one day I'll come full circle and find my way back to Neverland. 

coming around again

I've carried the idea for my Diva Challenge tile all week.  I knew I wanted to take a simple tangle and aura it in different ways.  Which is what I did with Flux on this unstrung Zendala tile.  I knew I wanted to colour the sections between.  And all that went much as hoped -  but then it came to the shading, the part I often enjoy the most - and then I got stuck.  I find shading auras tricky.  And shading Flux can either be very time-consuming (if you shade each leaf) or a bit basic if you just run a line down the middle.  I went with the latter approach, but wonder if it's lacking something?

But sometimes the most important thing Zentangle gives me is learning to live with imperfections.  Inadequacies.  Of time, ability, energy.  It reminds me that even with short supply of any or all of those you can still make something and hold it in your hand at the end of a week and say 'I made this'!

Flux - aura - repeat! 

I haven't always had time, ability or energy to draw a tile for Adele's weekly It's a String Thing Challenge recently - but I've managed to catch up on those I've missed on the limited space of a Bijou tile.  I've played with different colours and shading techniques - some I like more than others.

Top row - IAST #232, #233 and #236 
Bottom Row - IAST #240, #241 and 242

Do you find your art seems to come in ebbs and flows? I have patches where I'm really feeling it, in tune with the materials, brimming with ideas and loving the results.  And then I hit a patch where nothing seems to come good.  And looking back you think that the work you were doing months or years ago looks better than what you're producing now?  But then another day you can see the progress you are making, the skill and confidence that is steadily growing.  Do you feel that and think it's just you - it's not - it's me too!

going full circle

Sometimes it takes me a while to decide my approach to a weekly challenge, and sometimes things just fall into place almost effortlessly. I noted that this weeks challenge from the Diva was numbered 360 – perhaps she missed a trick in not making it a challenge based on circles, but I didn't! I also knew I wanted to link my pieces for the Diva and Joey challenges, as I was pleased with the result when I did that before.

I decided to work on two tiles from my Leftovers pile  - in this case tiles previously created for a challenge that involved tangling over marks made by spilling a drink, in my case tea.  I'm slowly but surely working through the stash of tiles in my little basket, the tiles I start and then lose my way with. Some of these have been completed and have appeared in posts on this blog. There's quite a few still waiting for my attention, and a handful have traveled to other tanglers to see if they can take the tile somewhere new.

A rogues' gallery - including the tiles I used today

For my Diva tile I used a small circle of watercolour paper which had been dip dyed resulting in bands of deepening colour. I vaguely followed those bands, drawing my Shattuck with rounded ends and occasional appearances of Tripoli. Some bands of light and dark aura along with some simple shading pulled the finish tile together.

Uneven spacing improved by added aura

I needed a bit more room when it came to the tile I want to make in response to Joey's recent challenge. I decided to combine the tangled starters from her last three weeks into one – so I needed space to allow three tangles room to dance.  From my stash I chose a larger paper circle splattered with dropped tea and patterned with teabag prints - I started to draw, allowing the tangles to claim the space as they would.

Featuring - Breach, Mak-Rah-Mee and Relly Telly One 

Once I'd added all my tangling I realised perhaps I didn't need quite as much space as I first thought, as my tangles seem to sit some way apart from one another with no real connection or energy. I toyed with additional tangling or shading but then I had an idea - stippling. I haven't used it in a long time but I thought it might just work. And it did, but it took a very long time to do, and more than once I cursed the fact that I'd even started!  But it's good to remember it as a technique, and I may revisit it in smaller doses.  Linda Farmer has written a helpful article about it on her wonderful website.

I like the finished piece, the areas of colour versus those without, the tangles and the spaces between them. And I can't help but smile when I look at all those hundreds of tiny dots and think about all those tea leaves in the bag that originally coloured this tile.

bathing in the purple rain

Particulars - fountain pen loaded with Diamine Damson ink,
black pigment pen, coloured pencil, graphite

 On Monday 12th the Google doodle commemorated the birthday of William Henry Perkin - who stumbled across a consistent purple dye while working to better understand quinine.  I've always been fascinated by these unintended scientific discoveries, and I've long had a soft spot for purple too.  So in the spirit of Perkin, this week I worked on a couple of challenges using purple ink.  I also tried to channel the spirit of wild experimentation - trying new things, not planning, just following instinct.

Joey gave us a ribbon and a pinch of Poke Leaf to start with, then invited us to finish her tile.  The Pokes are a lot like Mooka to me.  I love the way they can look in others hands, but struggle to find one of my own that I like.  But I stuck with Mooka, trying it many different ways and I have a couple of variations that I now draw and am happy with.  The Pokes took longer - but I think this week I may have found an approach to Pokeleaf that I like - adding a few auras on each side - it seems to give it a bit of bulk which I prefer.   The finished tile reminds me of something quite old and elegant - possibly the cover of a Victorian lady's journal, perhaps one where she notes the changes in her cottage garden.

Particulars - watercolour tile with two green brush pen lines.
  Purple Copic SP pen.  Coloured pencil, graphite.

I switched to a more controllable pen for my contribution to the Diva's Challenge - this week featuring one of my favourite tangles, Verve.  I thought it would be fun to let the tangle break free, hence the twists and points and bumps it's showing here.  There really seem to be endless variations to those winding auras.  I could have happily filled the entire tile but thought a bit of breathing space would be welcome.  It looks quite lively, like a mutant species is spreading and taking over.

I like the way that although the materials I used differed between my two tiles, the colours were similar which gives a pleasing sense of harmony.

half way between here and there

I haven't tangled much of late.  I've been busy with other things - mostly a 6 week creative writing course that I'm coming to the end of.  I've loved it, but I've missed the other things I love too, including and especially tangling!

I'm having a couple of weeks downtime starting now, but after that I hope to be back with more regular posts.  I have plans to play with a few tangled ideas during my downtime. 

Tangles used - Vega / Mooka / sort of Fescu

But before I go.  A farewell-for-now tile that I made this morning, prompted by the Diva's invitation to try white on black.  I find it so hard to make something that I'm happy with, but I'm persevering, and every time it gets a little bit better.  I think the thickness of the white gel pen after the Micron is the shock, so I'm very much looking forward to these thinner Gelly Rolls hitting the UK shores - no sign of them just yet...

stones in my pockets

Much of my recent tangling has taken place within a journal, thanks to being caught up in the Tangled and Journaled Facebook group and their Little Summer Project.  I've enjoyed following the prompts and working within a journal has been a new, challenging and only infrequently frustrating process.  That particular project has come to an end, so I'm looking forward to getting back to work on some loose tiles.

The first of which was a tile for this week's Diva prompt - a guest post by Jane Reiter who invites us to tangle with the wonder of Petoskey stones held in mind.  I did, but perhaps they rattled around a bit too much, because their influence was a little lost by the end!  I pencilled a light hexagonal grid and then added a 6 sectioned variation of Moonpie.

Coloured pastel paper / sepia Micron pen /
brown, white and graphie pencil shading

Until I have something more current to share with you, I'll offer you a set of green tiles I finished a couple of months ago - companion pieces to the grey and honey tiles I posted way back in May.

Green pastel paper / green Copic ink / green Inktense pencil / white pencil and gel pen / graphite

I've also had the thrill of being involved in another Mosaik Project - where I sent this tile to Annette -

which she then turned into wonders like this -

only far more fabulous as her mosaics also involved the work of 28 other tanglers.  Follow the button to see the results and go on, join in with the next one when it is announced at the end of October!

enjoy the silence

I've found time to tangle of late, but not always to share what I made.  So, in a break from my usual routine, this post will be mostly pictures, few words.

Jessica Davies is guest hosting the Diva Challenge this week -
and she asked us to use a heart string.  I'm not partial to hearts, but am smitten
with Jenna Black's Cross-UR-Heart - so all came good on this tan tile.

 

We've had a couple of spikes of unseasonably hot weather recently - one in June, one last week. 
On both occasions I tangled onto a tile dyed with tissue paper.

As the temperatures fell, clouds gathered and the rain began.  I tangled this
for It's a String Thing #202 - but ran out of time to send it to Adele!

And lastly, but not leastly - my tanglefriend Michele is guest hosting
Joey's challenge this week.  She asked us to use Margaret Bremner's
rope string and step away from anything other than the tangles we held in mind.
  Which left me with Printemps, Beadline and those shiny lines
I can't resist drawing everywhere!