searching for neverland

Earlier this year The Diva did a wise thing. She recognised that she needed to take a break from creating and sharing her weekly challenges with us. And she not only recognised that need but she claimed it too. And she asked us to support her in this, as I'm sure we all have, much as we've missed her. She was also incredibly brave in telling us why she needed that break. Just because she's back we should assume she might never need to take a break again. Her return is a valuable reminder for us to listen to ourselves, listen for the sometimes quiet voice of our needs.  To ask and claim and sometimes demand what we require.

Sometimes the momentum of life keeps us moving on without giving us the chance to stop and take stock of where we are, where we come from and where we might be going.  Zentangle, and particularly this week's Back to Basics challenge, gives one way to take stock thanks to these little black and white snapshots.

Then

Just over five years ago, on the 18th June 2013, I drew my first ever Zentangle tile.  A square of postcard paper, a black fibre tip, a Woolworths pencil.  Since then I've learnt so much.  A wide array of different tangles and techniques.  My pen control has improved enormously. I've learnt to use highlights and shade safely even near thick black ink on those super soft tiles!  I've learnt the value and pleasure offered by superior materials.

I often share my very first tile with new tanglers, or people who are doubting their ability.  With regular mindful practice it's almost impossible not to improve, and having fun while doing so!

Now

Today I drew a tile - on beautiful Italian paper, with a juicy Pigma Micron pen, and my trusty old Woolworths HB pencil.  I started with four dots, a border, a string based on my initials and chop.  I used the same three tangles from that June day - Crescent Moon, Static and Tipple.  And it couldn't look more different.

And while I'm thrilled  and grateful at all the progress I've made there's a little bit of me that misses  the naivety of where I started from.  That giddy combination of not knowing what you're doing but loving it all the same.  The innocence of just putting marks on paper without a bulk of knowledge and ideas all trying to suggest themselves loudly in your ear.  But I'm not Peter Pan, I had to grow up, but maybe one day I'll come full circle and find my way back to Neverland.